Learning lessons as an adult

After not riding bikes since probably high school, I recently got a new bike. One month in, I’ve got a number of scrapes and bruises on my body and my ego.

I’ve never been confident on a bicycle. As a kid, we were limited to riding loops on our fixed gear children’s bike in the small public park nearby. So trying to learn to ride a new bike, which is a road bike, now as an adult, is very slow going. Not to mention, I’m also a tiny bit too short to stand over my bike comfortably.

This past weekend on the way to my parents’ home, I had a minor crash when there were two turns from one section of a bike path to another section of bike path. I was going too quickly behind someone who was way more confident than I. So I made the first turn but slightly missed the second, and was too slow on the brakes on my drop handlebars. I got slammed into a concrete barrier, which hit my throat and scraped my chin. Other than that, I jammed my right thumb and have some scrapes on my knuckles on my right hand. Not much other damage to me or my bike.

I felt thankful to the people who stopped to ask if I was alright. It must have looked pretty bad. One woman even said to me if it were her she’d be sitting on the ground to recover a lot longer.

But I also felt ashamed at what happened. I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t brake in time. My family was worried, but I didn’t want them to and I just felt like forgetting it happened and moving on.

It turned out that I needed a tool back at my place so I walked to go get it. On the way back, I walked past a playground and saw some teenagers practicing kick-flips on a skateboard. I thought to myself, “There’s no way that they go into that thinking they won’t get hurt.”

And that should be true for me too. I learned the basics of riding a bike when I was a kid, but I was nowhere near done learning. Granted, I will be happy to just have the confidence to make turns regularly and maybe ride in the streets of New York. No tricks for me. But I can’t expect that I won’t get a few scrapes while I’m getting there.

Now, I feel glad that it wasn’t worse. I’m happy that no one else was involved and thus hurt in the process. My bike was easily fixed up and I don’t have any broken bones.

With my bike riding, I have to learn how to use these new brakes better. I have to slow down in areas where I feel unsure.

In my regular life, I could probably do all of those same things, too.

I’m about two years into journalism and I recently found out I didn’t get chosen for a job I really wanted. I felt deflated, because it would have been thrilling to get to work there. I thought for sure, this would be my big break, my big opportunity. But it wasn’t meant to be, and I am ok with that.

People giving advice to newcomers in journalism say that we shouldn’t be looking for shortcuts in our careers. I’ve heard this at a few talks at events or conferences already. I know the basics of journalism now and I feel like I’ve improved tremendously as a writer, but I still only have two years of experience in the industry.

So I’ve had to think more about what specific goals I can set for myself while I’m growing and learning. For biking, I will practice and incrementally increase the length of my rides. The lofty idea of going on trips to places to do long bike rides has crossed my mind. People I’ve known have done trips like these in South America and elsewhere. It sounds amazing, but at least a few years down the road for me in terms of achievability.

Travel in general is far from a possibility right now because of COVID-19. I have thought about visiting several friends who have babies whom I would like to meet, but I won’t be able to do that until 2021 at the earliest. But it’s also quite possible that I don’t travel next year at all, so I’ll do what I can to be a part of their lives remotely.

For life, I will have to set aside career goals that are too big too soon and do what I can with the opportunities I have. I’m lucky to have a job and an income right now when so many people have lost their jobs.

I hope you are all safe and healthy. Take care!