Learning lessons as an adult
After not riding bikes since probably high school, I recently got a new bike. One month in, I’ve got a number of scrapes and bruises on my body and my ego.
I’ve never been confident on a bicycle. As a kid, we were limited to riding loops on our fixed gear children’s bike in the small public park nearby. So trying to learn to ride a new bike, which is a road bike, now as an adult, is very slow going. Not to mention, I’m also a tiny bit too short to stand over my bike comfortably.
This past weekend on the way to my parents’ home, I had a minor crash when there were two turns from one section of a bike path to another section of bike path. I was going too quickly behind someone who was way more confident than I. So I made the first turn but slightly missed the second, and was too slow on the brakes on my drop handlebars. I got slammed into a concrete barrier, which hit my throat and scraped my chin. Other than that, I jammed my right thumb and have some scrapes on my knuckles on my right hand. Not much other damage to me or my bike.
I felt thankful to the people who stopped to ask if I was alright. It must have looked pretty bad. One woman even said to me if it were her she’d be sitting on the ground to recover a lot longer.
But I also felt ashamed at what happened. I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t brake in time. My family was worried, but I didn’t want them to and I just felt like forgetting it happened and moving on.
It turned out that I needed a tool back at my place so I walked to go get it. On the way back, I walked past a playground and saw some teenagers practicing kick-flips on a skateboard. I thought to myself, “There’s no way that they go into that thinking they won’t get hurt.”
And that should be true for me too. I learned the basics of riding a bike when I was a kid, but I was nowhere near done learning. Granted, I will be happy to just have the confidence to make turns regularly and maybe ride in the streets of New York. No tricks for me. But I can’t expect that I won’t get a few scrapes while I’m getting there.
Now, I feel glad that it wasn’t worse. I’m happy that no one else was involved and thus hurt in the process. My bike was easily fixed up and I don’t have any broken bones.
With my bike riding, I have to learn how to use these new brakes better. I have to slow down in areas where I feel unsure.
In my regular life, I could probably do all of those same things, too.
I’m about two years into journalism and I recently found out I didn’t get chosen for a job I really wanted. I felt deflated, because it would have been thrilling to get to work there. I thought for sure, this would be my big break, my big opportunity. But it wasn’t meant to be, and I am ok with that.
People giving advice to newcomers in journalism say that we shouldn’t be looking for shortcuts in our careers. I’ve heard this at a few talks at events or conferences already. I know the basics of journalism now and I feel like I’ve improved tremendously as a writer, but I still only have two years of experience in the industry.
So I’ve had to think more about what specific goals I can set for myself while I’m growing and learning. For biking, I will practice and incrementally increase the length of my rides. The lofty idea of going on trips to places to do long bike rides has crossed my mind. People I’ve known have done trips like these in South America and elsewhere. It sounds amazing, but at least a few years down the road for me in terms of achievability.
Travel in general is far from a possibility right now because of COVID-19. I have thought about visiting several friends who have babies whom I would like to meet, but I won’t be able to do that until 2021 at the earliest. But it’s also quite possible that I don’t travel next year at all, so I’ll do what I can to be a part of their lives remotely.
For life, I will have to set aside career goals that are too big too soon and do what I can with the opportunities I have. I’m lucky to have a job and an income right now when so many people have lost their jobs.
I hope you are all safe and healthy. Take care!
Coronavirus isolation, updates, and a new project about mental health for PhDs
It’s been a very long time since I’ve written for this blog. Very quick update: It’s been a little over 2 years since I officially got my PhD and I’m now paid full-time to write! That was a big step in my life. I’m still in New York, and I’m still living with friends. I do have a cat now! (See above.) And in the post I’ll also get into why I’m thinking about mental health for PhD students.
Life updates
Now that I’ve been in isolation for nearly 4 weeks, I’ve had more time to think about what I want to write about here on my blog. I’ve written a coronavirus blog post on Medium about my thoughts on that.
I started as a health writer for Changing America, a new section of The Hill, in October 2019. Six months later, I do feel productive being able to write about coronavirus and the COVID-19 pandemic for work. But I think I need to do more.
But I’ve also been thinking about how I can help people. That leads me to a new project I’ve been thinking about on and off for a few years. I want to create a space for PhD students to share their stories anonymously.
PhD Woes: Mental Health for PhDs
I’ve be thinking back periodically about my time as a PhD student because I have a friend here in New York who is in the middle of a program. I remember the strife I went through, and try to be a good listener for her when she needs it. She’s recently decided to look for a job and quit the PhD, mostly because her supervisor is a jerk.
Talking to my friend week after week leading up to this decision, I can see that she’s struggled to come to this point. It is difficult to end something before it’s done. No one likes that feeling. But in some cases, it’s the best choice for the person, and others looking in from the outside should try not to judge them for it.
I think it’s important for people who are struggling in their PhD programs, because most are, to find stories from other people who are having similar struggles. No one will have the same exact problem, but we can all commiserate on how much doing a PhD can suck.
Graduate students have mental health issues in part because they don’t feel like they can talk about their problems. Or they don’t feel like they have anyone that would relate to them. They feel like they are suffering alone. Yes, part of doing a PhD is that you do suffer alone, but that should be suffering in the name of doing the work, not suffering because of a dick lab mate or abusive supervisor.
Mental health for PhD students is especially important because they often don’t know how long it’s going to take to complete their work and the work feels never-ending. There’s a lot of uncertainty and very little control in some cases.
So if you are reading this and concerned about your mental health for PhD life and would like to share your story anonymously, or if you’d like to share advice or a story about a specific incident, get in touch with me! I’m calling the project PhD Woes for now, but more details are to come.
Unemployed and not (completely) depressed about it
Jobless and no future plans again for the second time in my life. Having been in school for most of my life, looking for a job again is a little scary. But it’s exciting too! I’m unemployed, and not completely depressed about it!
Thankfully, I’ve had some travels or future travel plans to distract me. Spoken like a true travel addict, right? Here’s how the past ~6 months of job searching has been for me. (Holy crap! It’s been half a year already?!) I am not yet depressed about the job search, and hopefully I can keep it that way!
Cool bike outside of a taco place I went to recently. More details about it below!
Sweet 16 years of ultimate
This year is the official point in time where I’ve been playing this sport of ultimate for half of my life. That’s exciting! From this month onward, I will have participated in this global community for over half of my life. That’s something to be proud about.
This is the crazy spot that I’ve dedicated many thousands of hours, and thousands of dollars, to play and compete in. Just because I love it!
6 months post PhD hand-in
Doing a PhD is often said to be one of the toughest things you can do. I don’t think it’s that tough compared to some really tough jobs like teaching at an inner city public school, but it is lonely. It’s a mental battle all the way through, and some people don’t make it through in one piece.
For a hot minute, I thought I was through with it. I guess I can’t fully recover from the whole PhD until I’m done with everything. Later this year, when I’m truly done, then I’ll find relief. Although that feels like a long time from now, I’m glad for this space away from it so that I can reconfigure my life and actually start moving on.
Summer 2017 travel goals! New York, London, Brighton, Chicago and Philly
Summer is just about here in New York! This week the temperatures have finally broken the 80s Fahrenheit (~30s Celsius).
I’m super excited to start making more detailed travel plans for this summer! I’ll be exploring my hometown of New York, seeing London and Brighton again, and visiting 2 new(ish) to me cities in the US: Chicago and Philly.
View of New Jersey Cherry Walk in Manhattan
Pre-tryout nerves and how travel has made me feel (almost) invincible!
This weekend marks the start of the tryout season for club teams in my sport of ultimate. Commonly known as ultimate Frisbee (but for trademark reasons officially “ultimate”), this is a pretty intense sport that has dreams of someday being a part of the Olympics.
Featuring full field 7 on 7 gameplay, this is the sport I’ve played for nearly 16 years now. Time and experience doesn’t mean I’m spared from nerves and butterflies, but if I can travel the world solo, then I can do this!
Me at the top of Lion Rock Fortress in Sigiriya, Sri Lanka
Lessons from living in 3 of the most expensive cities in the world
Sometimes where you live determines the standard of living you can afford. It can be a harsh reality, or something you deal with and plan for.
Over the last 5 years, I’ve lived in 3 of the most expensive cities in the world: New York, Singapore and London. Although salaries are generally higher in these cities to match the cost of living, if you are a poor student like me then you still need to be a bit careful with your money. Here’s what I learned from living in some of the most notoriously money-sucking cities of the world.
Snow covered Riverside Park in New York City
On doing what you came to do (~1 month post PhD hand-in)
The dust has settled on the submission of my PhD thesis, and now I can think back on this whole process. I left to travel 5 days after handing in my PhD, to give myself physical and mental distance from it all.
As I’m writing this in a hipster cafe in Phnom Penh, it feels a little surreal. Did I really do that?
Climbing hills: this one is the Lion Rock Fortress in Sigiriya, Sri Lanka (2.5 weeks post hand-in)
A quick and dirty Annual Review for 2016
This is coming a little late because…I just finished writing up my PhD thesis!
Besides that, it has been a big year for many people in many places. I was in London as Brexit broke the news. I felt proud when I mailed in my ballot for the US election, but then felt deflated as I waited up past 4:30 AM London time to watch the results coming in. There were some ups, though, amidst all the downs. I welcomed a new family member, and packed up my things to move back home to New York.
Last year, I wrote several blog posts for my annual review (following the style of Chris Guillebeau of the Art of Nonconformity, who has mixed up his style a little this year). I don’t think I will do a full review here again at least this time, so here is a summary of my 2016.
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Hey, I'm Chewy! I'm a science journalist currently living in New York. I'm an introvert who likes to see new things and learn. Here I write about my travels and musings about food, places and cultures. Check out my photos, reviews, and random thoughts!